Porque no sólo de ciencia vive el hombre... una sugerencia cada día (o menos)
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Reflexión sobre las ciencias, las letras, las cenas, los amigos... publicada en EPS, El País Semanal de 26 de junio de 2005.
Puedes leerlo aquí en su formato original.
Invitados de Ciencias
JUAN CUETO


A estas alturas de la película educativa ya me sé de memoria todos los argumentos a favor de las Humanidades y los suscribo uno por uno. Incluso he participado en más de una manifestación callejera y apoyado varios pliegos de firmas para mostrar mi rechazo ante la posible supresión de la filosofía, los latines, las artes, las culturas clásicas y demás dominios de Letras. Sólo se me ocurre una consideración muy poco académica y que hasta ahora no he visto mencionada como argumento a favor. Las Humanidades quedan muy bien y dan mucha conversación en las cenas matrimoniales de los viernes, en las reuniones de los fines de semana, en las veladas de amigos y en cualquier sarao que se precie. Son la materia prima del viejo arte de recibir en casa.

Tú invitas a gentes de Humanidades y tienes garantizado el éxito de la fiesta, aunque el catering sea una mierda y no haya suficiente güisqui de malta. Pongamos el ejemplo contrario. La mejor manera de estropear un festolín, como dice la divertida Fran Lebowitz, es invitar a su contrafigura, a un tipo de Ciencias, a un bata blanca. El humanista, en tu fiesta, es capaz de hablar mucho y de todo, en plan transversal, multicultural, multimedia, disperso, ameno, comprensible y tal, pero si el invitado es de ciencias punteras y matemáticas, te arruina la reunión al cuarto de hora. Mientras el invitado de Humanidades, novelistas famosos incluidos, salta la conversación de un lado al otro, sin preocuparse lo más mínimo por el principio de no-contradicción, el invitado de Ciencias es esquivo por naturaleza, permanece fiel a sus ecuaciones básicas, es silenciosamente arrogante, practica la conversación monotemática, corta en seco cualquier digresión no lógica, permanece riguroso todo el tiempo y al final casi nunca se emborracha ni suele fumar porros.

Sólo por eso habría que declarar de utilidad pública a las Humanidades y dejarlas como están. No sé si después de su licenciatura tendrán trabajo o no, y qué tipo de trabajo, pero esos humanistas que fabrica en serie nuestro sistema educativo desempeñan un rol fundamental en la intensa vida social del país: mantienen la conversación generalista. Es el mismo equilibro que existe entre las televisiones generalistas y las temáticas, entre la prensa diaria y las publicaciones especializadas, entre las tertulias de la onda media y las músicas non-stop de la frecuencia modulada. Es algo que los humanos seguramente llevamos grabado ahí arriba, en el cerebro de Broca: el hemisferio izquierdo te exige concreción, lógica, ecuaciones, especialidades y rigor, mientras que el cerebro derecho te da permiso para generalizar, combinar, imaginar, desbarrar, ser más divertido. La fiesta perfecta.

Existe un pero. El problema del futuro de las Humanidades, hoy por hoy, está en que los actuales temas mundanos y frivolones de moda derivan casi siempre hacia el campo específico de los aburridos invitados de Ciencias y quedan mucho mejor que la conversación de los humanistas, excepto si una chica maravillosa te cita en versión original ciertos versos amorosos del bisexual Catulo. Pero está demostrado que las conversaciones generalistas de las reuniones han cambiado de runrún. Empezando por las dietas individuales y acabando por las terapias personales, que son los dos asuntos principales y casi exclusivos en el actual y complicado arte de recibir invitados.

El intercambio de dietas para adelgazar de cara al inminente biquini se ha transformado en un tráfico de recetas bioquímicas y técnicas en las que es obligatorio poseer saberes muy especializados y de los que el humanista o novelista famoso no pueden decir ni mu sobre, qué sé yo, esos yogures que autoproclaman el 0,01% de grasas y calorías, las virtudes científicas del famoso y misterioso Omega 3, el conflicto de los carbohidratos, las nuevas tecnologías de las cirugías plásticas del rostro y de los implantes de silicona un poco más abajo, sobre las obligatorias visitas a esas corporaciones dermoestéticas que anuncia la tele.

En cuanto al intercambio social de las terapias del yo, el segundo tema de la conversación dominante en las fiestas, excuso decir. Desde que el psicoanálisis filosófico y la psiquiatría de autoayuda, típicos temas de Humanidades, han sido progresivamente abducidos por la todopoderosa farmacopea de guardia, imposible mantener en las cenas de matrimonios una divertida conversación en la que no se mencione la serotonina, la adrenalina, el cortisol, la amígdala, el hipocampo y demás componentes de la gramática de la neurociencia (¿de la neurofilosofía?) y que han transformado la charla generalista y literaria sobre las emociones del ser humano en una especializada conversación bioquímica. Es más, la fobia social, que era el principal problema de los invitados de Ciencias, tan genéticamente huraños y aburridos, también tiene solución neurocientífica: se toma un Seroxat 20 mg. una hora antes del festolín y automáticamente el científico se comporta como un alegre tipo de Humanidades, dispuesto a todo.

El problema, por consiguiente, no está en suprimir las Humanidades de nuestra educación básica y universitaria porque, entre otras cosas, cumplen una función social de primera, sino al revés. Obligar a los futuros humanistas, novelistas incluidos, a que frecuenten un poco más las revolucionarias asignaturas científicas para mantener el tipo y el discurso en las reuniones sociales. Lo que no es de recibo en estos tiempos de tanto recibir es que los especialistas en las viejas conversaciones generalistas de Humanidades no sepamos pronunciar en las fiestas una sola palabra sobre las modernas conversaciones generalistas, tan malditamente de Ciencias.

2005-06-27, 09:53 | 72 comentarios

Referencias (TrackBacks)

URL de trackback de esta historia http://klingsor.blogalia.com//trackbacks/31162

1
De: Evolucionarios Fecha: 2005-06-27 14:41

Ciencia y Cultura: «Parece que (de nuevo) est&aacute; en debate una reforma de los contenidos educativos de la ense&ntilde;anza p&uacute;blica en Espa&ntilde;a. La verdad es que yo no me estoy enterando un pijo del asunto, pero ya me ha llegado por diver»



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De: Sr. Spock Fecha: 2005-06-27 17:29

mira, acabo de llegar de una fiesta, sí sí, a estas horas :), y estábamos unos 7 o 8 becarios de física, y otras 15 personas de letras: filología, filosofía, bellas artes, hasta teología!, y no veas, los de física éramos el alma de la fiesta, los más folloneros, los más tragones, en todas las conversaciones, y los demás, callados...

y cuidado, no eran conversaciones sobre la dieta ni el yo ni nada, el tema ha ido desde "vaya pedazo de langostino, el otro día me comí uno que..." a "ahora me estoy leyendo un libro chulísimo..." pasando por "¿dónde nos vamos este verano de vacaciones?, habrá que pensar algo"



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De: klingsor Fecha: 2005-06-28 00:36

Parto de la base qeu la división es odiosa y además lo pongo en práctica, porque imparto una asignatura que se llama CTS, Ciencia, tecnología y sociedad.
Yo conozco gente de todo tipo, licenciados de todo pelaje, porque trabajo en un instituto. Puedo asegurar sin temor a equivocarme que el interés que tienen los profesores de letras en temas científicos es mucho menor que el que tienen los de ciencias por temas de letras.
En cualquier caso, creo que Cueto ironza sobre la incomunicación entre unos y otros.
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